Eight male fashion trends women secretly hate that make you look naff, boring or like a teen Toby Carvery waiter

MEN get a pretty easy ride when it comes to clothes. There is a “uniform” for everything.

Weddings? One or two trusty suits on rotation. Office? Navy or black trousers and a shirt. Weekend? Jeans and a jumper or a T-shirt. Job done.

But somewhere along the line, blokes have gone rogue and men’s fashion has become more experimental – not always in a good way.

Women’s outfits are often picked apart by men for not being “attractive” enough but, lads, have you even looked in the mirror

Your skinny jeans are still clinging on for dear life.

Questionable trainers are multiplying.

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And don’t get me started on celebrities “pushing boundaries” and convincing the masses it’s a good idea.

Here, I reveal the biggest style sins men keep committing – and the looks that send us running.

CROPPED JACKETS

JACOB ELORDI has never been shy about a statement accessory – particularly those oversized handbags he is so fond of swinging over his shoulder.

Now, the Wuthering Heights heartthrob is making bold moves in the wardrobe department, too, embracing the cropped jacket trend and baring a sliver of midriff in the process.

At a photocall in LA for the box office hit earlier this month, 6ft 5in Elordi, 28, posed for pictures wearing a hot-off-the-catwalk jacket from Chanel.

Harry Styles, 32, also showed a penchant for cropped blazers when he wore a tweed Dior number to the Grammys at the beginning of the month, paired with jeans and mint-coloured ballet pumps with bows on top.

Two fashion-forward lads experimenting with proportions is one thing.

But I am not sold on a silhouette that slices a torso clean in half, or the idea of everyday blokes taking notes and investing in cropped boucle of their own.

Sorry, but it gives me the ick.

Picture the morning commute or the terraces on a Saturday: The bloke next to you is sporting the latest viral M&S coat, stretched over a beer belly and teamed with trousers still bearing the evidence of last night’s curry.

No thanks.

BLACK SHIRTS

WHEN it comes to dressing up, men have it made. Stick on a classic suit and you’re bulletproof.

You can wear it on rotation for years until it frays at the cuffs or the waistband waves a white flag.

Now, red-carpet lads have decided they need to “switch it up”.

I get it. It must get dull wearing the same tux formula forever and women shouldn’t have a monopoly on fashion fun.

Still, swapping the traditional black blazer, white shirt and bow tie for a black shirt is hardly revolutionary.

From Leonardo DiCaprio, 51, to YouTuber Morgan Burtwistle, aka Angryginge, 24, men are parading it like they’ve reinvented tailoring.

Let’s not get carried away.

To me, it screams “sixth form formal” or teenage waiter at a budget carvery.

It is the kind of outfit that says you’ve borrowed your mate’s suit and kept the receipt.

And if it’s short-sleeved? Or, worse, paired with a black tie?

That’s less red carpet, more “just nipping off to court”.

Leave well alone please, boys.

PASTEL SUITS

THE Great Gatsby author F. Scott Fitzgerald signalled Jay Gatsby’s outsider status by dressing his flashy new-money hero in a pink suit – a detail immortalised on screen by Robert Redford and, decades later, Leonardo DiCaprio.

Since then, pop culture keeps trying to rehabilitate the pastel suit. From Miami Vice to Towie, it has been paraded as bold and stylish. But somehow, it never quite lands.

There is something very dated about an attention-seeking pastel suit. For me, it harks back to the Noughties, boybands and reality TV.

Recently, the sartorially challenged have once again been dipping their toes into the pastel pool.

Nigel Farage, 61, can usually be found in a Barbour and flat cap, but often swaps his country-cosplay uniform for a blue suit and light pink shirt when out talking as the Reform party leader.

And on Love Island recently, Jack Keating, 26, son of Boyzone’s Ronan, gave rose pink a go in the villa.

Sorry lads, you must have both missed the memo: Pastel suits are well and truly naff.

COMBATS

THERE are some hardy men who make a point of wearing their hideously bulky combat shorts all year round, even in freezing temperatures.

If you are one of those men, grow up.

And if you are not channelling park ranger chic, you are clearly still clinging to your Nineties boyband fantasy.

Now, this does not apply to tradesmen who have a practical use for ridiculous amounts of pockets, but those who don’t have a need, don’t need to wear them.

Take Timothee Chalamet. The 30-year-old loves cargo trousers and was sporting a pair in London in January.

But, as far as I’m aware, he wasn’t on his way to fit wardrobes or fix a leaking pipe.

And when Lewis Hamilton, 41, wears them on the grid, I highly doubt he’s got a spare wrench in his pockets.

With the constant hoiking up, fidgeting and riffling through multiple pockets to find your phone, the wearer becomes instantly unattractive and irritating.

BAKER BOY HATS

WITH Cheltenham Festival next month, it is important to remember that, no, you don’t look like Tommy Shelby in a flat cap.

Baker boy hats go hand-in-hand with Cheltenham, much like tweed, but it is one of those cliches you should try to skip.

And they have left the race course.

Ever since Cillian Murphy made women weak at the knees as the iconic Mr Shelby in Peaky Blinders in 2013, men have been trying to channel his swagger with the pitiful effort of a hat.

On anyone aside from director Spike Lee, who has made a flat cap his uniform, or David Beckham tending to his vegetable patch, the hat just feels too try-hard and over-theatrical for everyday men.

Plus, the garment has “boy” in the title, which hardly feels sexy, cool or mature.

More like the uniform of a paperboy, which is, of course, where it comes from.

So, unless you are one of the celeb men mentioned, the baker boy hat should stay away from your head.

For clarity, I include women in that, too.

GILETS

ONLY Sir Gareth Southgate or a professional snooker player can get away with wearing a waistcoat.

This includes quilted gilets, be it on finance bros with a half-zip jumper and chinos, chavs with trackies or farmers with stone-washed jeans.

Whoever you are, it doesn’t hit any buttons no matter how you wear it.

Take actor Kit Harington’s banker character Henry in BBC’s Industry.

He is so rarely seen without his gilet, it was more of a personality prop than a wardrobe decision. Sun columnist Jeremy Clarkson, 65, has had a long-running relationship with a padded waistcoat.

But since becoming a farmer, he has extended his gilet wardrobe to include the cultivator essential – the fleece waistcoat.

While Kit, 39, when not in character, and Jeremy, the oracle on men’s denim, have reasonable and basic fashion taste, their gilets bring their style credentials right down.

Avoid where you can, guys, if you don’t want to become a stereotype.

PALE DENIM

WITH denim, the same single rule can apply to both sexes when it comes to colour: if in doubt, go dark.

I wince when I see a poor lad reaching for pale denim in a shop.

These pairs are only meant for adverts and films to sell a dream, not for real life.

Whether it is the Nineties’ Diet Coke construction worker or a stonewashed-wearing Jeremy Allen White draped across a sofa showing off his boxers, the reality isn’t quite as desirable.

Even James Bond can’t pull them off.

When 57-year-old Daniel Craig wore a pair in November in New York, it was a far cry from his slick spy look.

Sure, we all had a moment in the Eighties when Neighbours’ Kylie Minogue and Jason Donovan were the king and queen of pale denim.

But that was more than 30 years ago.

As was Brookside’s acidwash denim-loving Jimmy Corkhill – and we have all, thankfully, moved on since then.

The bottom line is, avoid all pale washes in the future.

PRISTINE TRAINERS

IF a life well trodden is a life well lived, then box-fresh trainers just mean you’re boring.

Now, the soles of your shoes don’t need to be falling apart to mean you look good but, in the way that effortlessly stylish women are considered by some to have high levels of attractiveness, the same goes for men.

Meanwhile, a stark white or pristinely clean pair of trainers gives the impression that you are extremely high maintenance or spend a considerable amount of time cleaning your shoes – which would make you quite dull.

The stereotype often falls on the reality TV gang due to their reputation for taking their appearance more seriously than a relationship, like Love Island’s Ronnie Vint (sorry, Ronnie).

But plenty of TV presenters are just as guilty, rocking up in suspiciously pristine trainers that look like they have been purchased purely for posing rather than pounding the pavement.

Take Joel Dommett, 40, who presented each episode of I’m A Celebrity . . . Unpacked last year in an immaculate pair of shoes – in the jungle!

Just as us women wear new shoes around the house to make sure they don’t rub, blokes should wear their shoes out, or minimise the cleaning routine.